Not your ordinary designer

I have known for a very long time that I had a "gift" for designing. I will never forget the day I had a vision of being a designer. I was only eleven but I knew that it is what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was not an easy path. Somehow, I jumped over every hurdle and it has been very rewarding.

Another vision beckons me these days:  to be an author. More hurdles to jump - now they are called "learning curves." My goal is different from before. I do not desire awards or glory and fanfare but rather to know that if I can write a story or stories that will touch even one person, I will be happy. To that end, I offer this little short story, which was an assignment for my writing class. I joined the group in October. In the spirit - pun intended - of Halloween, the first assignment was to write a story about a conversation among three ghosts who are buried next to each other. Since the story I am working on is about the conversations I have had with my father's ghost, this assignment was right up my alley.

This story is fiction; however, it is based on my experiences. My father was Chinese and his ghost told me about many of the things in this story - things I did not know when he was alive.  Do not be surprised if you experience goose bumps when you read it!

CHING MING

April 1990

Colma, aka The City of the Dead, south of San Francisco, CA

Sunlight broke through the fog sending rays of light onto the copper lid of the coffin. Jimmy Lei stood there as if frozen. He watched as the family left the cemetery but still he could not move.

"What a waste," he said as he looked at the elaborately carved granite double headstone and, then, at the well manicured grounds.

'Well, will you look at that?  What are the odds?" Ming Li tipped the pointed end of his fedora to the tombstones on each side of Mr. Lei's gravesite. He adjusted the handkerchief in his breast pocket so that his initials were prominent.

"I don't believe it," W. G. Fong replied.

Jimmy said, "Who are you and what . . ." he stopped before he could finish. The man on his right died on April 5; so did the man on his left. "Wait just a minute.  I died on April 5^th, Ching Ming, the day I should honor my ancestors. The last time I saw my parents was in 1931. I was a new father and widower in less than two weeks.  I had to leave my newborn son to return to America." He looked around and saw the remnants of the Ching Ming rituals, evidence that others did indeed honor their ancestors.

"What are the odds that three people buried next to each other would die on the same day? Well, I'll tell you. You have a better chance of winning the lottery," Ming, who loved to gamble, said.

Mr. Fong recognized his family's floral arrangement, the wreath with red ribbons inscribed with details about the deceased. His family, known for its beautiful calligraphy as well as its floral work, merged the Western tradition of placing flowers at a funeral with the Chinese tradition of an announcement scroll. "He must be Buddhist. See there. The words on the banner ask permission to enter into heaven and I heard a woman mumbling a Buddhist prayer as her fingers counted the beads on her mala."

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy said.

Ming said to W.G.  "He still doesn't quite get it."

"Don't be so hard on him.  You were the same, Ming."

"Don't remind me.  It's as if it were yesterday instead of fifty years ago."

"At least, you were used to this country. I wanted to go back home to die or at least to be buried. I had no one here.  In China, I had family who would honor me. I never dreamt that Huang Er, my brother's second son, would come to the States and make good with the money I left him. I was a second son also. I knew he would be neglected in favor of the number one son. I knew Huang Er had talent but I see now that he also had ambition. He turned my little florist shop into a chain of fancy shops. When he dug up my body from the old Chinese cemetery, and had it moved here, I felt like a king. I guess it paid off to leave him my small fortune."

"Old Uncle, you're too old-fashioned." Ming said. He patted the shoulder of W.G.'s mandarin jacket causing W.G.'s wispy white hair to fly up like a spider's web disturbed by an intruder.

"Yes, but it is still an honorable thing to pay respects to your ancestors, whether you are a Buddhist like him; a rice bowl Christian, like me; or an Atheist, like you. Shou Shen, brother, Shou Shen."

"Shou Shen - Filial Piety. You're talking to an orphan, W.G., but I lived my life right. I did not need a parent or customs or a church to tell me right from wrong."

"How can you be so sure you were abandoned? China was in chaos between the Japanese invasion and the fighting between Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalists and Mao's Communists. Can't you find it in your heart to forgive them, Ming?"

"So, you did learn a thing or two from the Christian priests."

"Yes, but, then, why am I still here? It's now seventy years. Why didn't I go to the pearly gates?"

"W.G., I think it's something more than a coincidence - this April 5^th thing. Hey, Jimmy, what's your story? Why are you here and not in the Buddhist heaven?" Ming said pulling at his eyebrow hair that persisted on sticking out.

Jimmy looked forlorn. He tugged at the well-worn buttonhole of his favorite cardigan. "I made the preparations:  the roasted pig, the whole fish and chicken, the paper money and petitions to the guards of heaven to burn in the altar, the family blankets, and a band to ward off evil spirits. I did it all. You tell me. Why am I still here?" He knew these last minute compliances to rituals could not make up for years of neglect. He knew that he had not sent money back to China, squandering it instead on gambling, drinking and women. He shut out those words - Shou Shen - because he knew he had not paid the proper respects to his ancestors. He knew now that the ticket into heaven was not words on a piece of paper, nor dutiful submission to a long list of rituals. He knew that he would have to pay dearly for his deeds in his next life.

"I was wrong," he admitted to his new neighbors, "but I have another chance to get it right." His broad nostrils flared, making them look even broader and his eyes even smaller. He tugged at the buttonhole like a child caressing his "blankie."

"What are you talking about?" Ming asked.

"We are all still here - because we are stuck until we realize our karma. W. G., you would call it "sins." I thought I got away with my deeds. I have to accept what I did wrong and make it right. I know that now. You think it's too late but I do not think I'd be here talking with you now if it were too late."

"If there's a way to leave this place, I want to hear about it. Maybe, it's time for me to look at my life. I thought I did the right things but now I'm not so sure. It was the ultimate gamble," Ming confessed.

W.G. held his head down as he tried to hide the tears that ran down his sunken cheeks. "I went to the mission so I could eat. We were so poor.  I'd do almost anything to get some food for my family. I ate the rice in the rice bowl and I hid pieces of vegetables and meat in my clothes to take home to my family. I worked in the kitchen just so I could steal the scraps of food left on plates.

   

"I listened and pretended to pray. I tried to learn the English language. Of course, they taught it to us by reading the Bible. I wanted to learn the language so I could be a "Gold Mountain" man. After I came to America to find my gold, I discovered the truth. Gold was not everywhere as the traders told us. I worked hard and sent money home to China. I guess I learned enough about sinning to feel bad because I just could not believe in their Jesus. I was not a good Christian man but I did love my family."

Something in them changed as they shared their stories. They developed an inexplicable bond with one another.

April 5, 1991

Colma, CA

"Look, our families are coming," W.G. said. My nephew is an old man now but he looks young. He has a good family and a good heart.

"As many years as we've been here, our families never came at the same time," he said to W.G.

*********

Jimmy Lei's family passed the first tombstone. Jenny said, "Hey, guys, he died the same day as Goompa."  Lily set the basket on the ground and, then, sorted out the incense, papers, and Jimmy's favorite foods while the neighbors swept the grave sites and added fresh flowers.

"Hey, this guy over here, Mr. Wai Gauy Fong, died on April 5 also - but in 1920 - and Mr. Ming Li over there died in 1940. I bet they would have great stories to tell if we could talk with them. This is weird.  I have a feeling this is not a coincidence."

*********

"Let them figure it out, either in this life time or the next. If we can, they will also," Jimmy said to his new friends. "Are you ready to go now?"

"Where are we going?" W.G. and Ming said in unison.

"I'm not sure but I think we need to cross that arched bridge. It wasn't there before but I feel we need to go over it. Remember, the Buddha said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

As if on queue, they took that step together.

828 dots

W

hew! I finally did it. I removed 828 dots (spaces).  It's a good thing the document was a relatively short one.  Thank goodness, I discovered this rule - it sounds like a four letter word - before I wrote many more sentences.

When did they change the rules? The one about one space between sentences instead of two. What other surprises will I discover as I learn to write a manuscript? Oh well, it doesn't really matter because whatever it takes, I'm up for the game! After all, it is not so different from learning how to become an interior designer.

I've got a story to tell and nothing is going to stop me now - not even 828 dots. Game on!

Grateful for what I've learned as a designer

When I studied Interior Design at Florida State University, I was required to take a class in Home Management.  Back then, the Department of Interior Design was in the School of Home Economics.  One of the things I learned was how to organize a project.  It served me well when I pulled a project together and managed every aspect from design plans down to the last detail.  It also served me when planning a Thanksgiving Day dinner.

Unfortunately, everyone is not required to take that class and some people are freaked out by the process of planning and executing dinner for the big day.  Today, I found a site to help organize T'day.  Okay, I was actually searching for a Silversneakers class but, hey, sometimes, the best things are found serendipitously.

I hope you enjoy "A Healthier Thanksgiving Cookbook and Planning Guide" as much as I did and that it helps you have a wonderful T'day.

Here's what you will find at the back of the book.  Great tools to plan ahead and avoid a stressful day, plan your menu, create your shopping list & organize the day.  Things are bound to come up but this makes it easier.

   

   

Do not wait for Thanksgiving to remember all the things you are grateful for, like classes that served you throughout your life, moments of delicious serendipity and the many ways we touch each other's lives.

Inspired by Nature

Nine years ago, I made the move from Naples, FL to Richmond, VA.  For years prior to the move, I heard clients say, "I will be down after the leaves turn." or "I have to go back home for spring."  Having lived in south Florida for so many years, I did not get it but driving through Richmond recently, I was in awe of the colors of the trees.  Here's an ode to fall.


EMBRACING FALL 
The leaves outside my window are changing their colors.
I watch as one leaf after another zig zags to the ground,
joining other now dried and brown leaves.

This phenomena allows me to see the patterns of the branches
and the hawk's nest that once was hidden from my gaze.

A gentle breeze releases a shower of many rust and sienna leaves.
The sunlight casts it's light on tree trunks
exposing a play of texture and shadowy effects not seen before.

I am reminded of the Teacher's words "to everything there is a season."

I wonder why we human beings do not remember to take the time to let go of our coverings, to let the light show us the core of who we are
and to know that it is time to slow down and wait for the next cycle.

Oh, Mother Earth, I heed your message
and in my humanness, I stop for this moment
for what the tree outside my window has shown me.

I embrace it's changing colors as I embrace my own.

I get it!

In the mood . .

This year I am in the "holiday" mood early.  Although I will not decorate until after Thanksgiving, I pulled out my Christmas decorations and sorted through them.  I weeded out the ones that mean a lot to me - my pig ornaments (I was born in the year of the pig by the Chinese calendar), my Chinese ornaments, the ones collected through the years, the ones I will pass on to my daughter and the ones to give away to someone else.

What a change from my mood last year.  The good news is that I found my Christmas spirit last year after all.  It happened when I walked into a store and the music spoke to me in a magical way.  I stopped, I listened and, suddenly, something happened.  Then, the magic began.  I stepped out of the store and the twenty-five foot Christmas tree put on a performance that again stopped me in my tracks.  I found a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  My six-year old grandson and I recorded the Charlie Brown Christmas Story and the holidays ended better than they started.

I am looking forward to what this holiday brings and I wish the best to all.  Here's my gift to you:

Bleu Cheese & Walnut Kookie recipe

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Prepare muffin tins.  I use a circle of parchment paper cut to the diameter of the bottom to make it easier to remove the Kookies.

1 cup unsalted butter, melted (coat the muffin tins before you add the next ingredients)

1 cup sugar

1 cup self-rising flour

1 large egg

4 tablespoons Bleu Cheese  (more or less - to taste)

Spoon 1 teaspoon full of batter into the muffin tin.

Chop walnuts and top the batter with the walnuts.

Cook for 15-18 minutes until the edges of the Kookies are golden brown. 

Let the Kookies cool and, then, take them out of the muffin tin and place them on a cooling rack.

The process of cooking in the muffin tin gives the Kookie a crunchy outer edge and a chewy inside.

Enjoy!

Not your ordinary designer

My friend, Walter, asked me to speak on his NPR program in the Catskills .  In his introduction, he described me as "an Interior Design who has designs on your interior."  He had a way with words! You might think that an odd thing to say.  Although I was in New York working on a design job, Walter was more interested in my other work - researching reincarnation and spiritual growth.

Interior Design was and is a great training ground for my favorite avocation because learning to trust my intuition about my clients and my jobs is essential to my success.  That was never more evident than when I worked on a model in Estero, FL.  I was very sensitive to the energy of the property and the building. The designs for the model came together organically.  Every detail moved in to place like pieces of a puzzle, including a portrait of Thomas Jefferson for the Study.  My assistant hated the portrait but something told me to use it anyway.  The model was sold before I finished it and a meeting with the new owners enlightened me as to why the portrait was important. I shared the files of furniture, wallpaper, finishes, window treatments and, of course,  artwork with the client. When I got to the portrait of Jefferson, the client told me that he was born on Jefferson's birthday, April 13.  Even more interesting, that very day was April 13th.  I knew these were more than coincidences.

For me, interior design is more than creating beautiful spaces; it is also about the relationships we create.  People touch our lives for a reason. If we can be "open" to that purpose, the process is magical.  Sometimes, that purpose goes beyond the obvious - like my experience with Peter, who asked me to help him with the Feng Shui energy of his home.  The real purpose of the meeting was to make the connection between Peter and his deceased friend,who we lovingly call "Clarence" because of a promise Peter's friend made to Peter before he died. Clarence wanted to let Peter know that we do not die.

While I do love to create beauty, what I really love is creating spaces where love grows.  I think that's what Walter meant when he called me an Interior Designer who has designs on your interior.

Just as we all have a unique style of decorating, we all have a unique path of spiritual growth.  It's fascinating creating different styles and honoring different paths.

It IS easier to be GREEN!

Two things happened recently that reminded me how much easier it is to be "green."  You know, as in environmentally friendly.

1.  My client, who suffers from Environmental Illness/Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, needed new carpeting for her Family Room.  Not to worry because now most carpet manufacturers use products and production methods that do not "outgas" VOCs (volital organic compounds).  I chose just such a carpet for my client but just to be safe, I had the installer air out the carpet from its plastic wrapper for several days and, then, I also cleaned the carpet with a carpet shampoo* designed for people who are chemically sensitive BEFORE we even installed the carpet.  That's right, I said before the carpet was installed.  This easy two-step process allowed any residue chemicals to evaporate before going in to my clients home.  After the carpet was installed, a Hepa filter air purifier extracted the rest.  End result:  a beautiful new room that my client can enjoy!

Thank you, Rosson & Young, for working with me to create the best possible solution.

2.  I answered an inquiry phone call.  The caller wanted to know what we recommend for upholstery cleaning for a fabric with an "S" code.  (S usually means to clean with a water-free cleaning solvent.) As we talked about possible choices, I discovered that she is also sensitive to chemicals. I suggested the same product above, which can be used on upholstery.



Safe Choice Carpet Shampoo

*SafeChoice Carpet Shampoo by AFM is my choice for carpet & upholstery cleaning.

Little did I know when I became sensitive to chemicals about fifteen years ago that I would be in a position to help others.  Determined to make "lemonade out of lemons," I studied Environmental Design and connected wih some really great people, like HealthyHome.com and NatureNeutral.

Now, it's my turn to pay it forward and say "Thanks" to all the folks who have helped me along the way and share the information with others who want to create a healthy environment.  Yes, Kermet, it is easy to be green!